So here's the deal. In less than 12 hours I will be entering a zone I have never been before. Normally that phrase would not cause any concern. I have convinced myself that I love a challenge, don't care what other people think of me and I can handle anything! But as the hour draws near, I am questioning these self pep talks. Maybe they are not so much constructional and motivational as just plain stupid.
Ok, here's the background. And if you know me, you know I love to tell a story in absolutely no order at all. And if you really know me, you know that I despise housework and there should be deadbolt on my door until somebody (not me) does something about the clutter and disorganization in my house! As I mentioned earlier, and as my blog name indicates, I am for lack of a better term (ok lazy might actually work here), domestically challenged. This being said, I have ventured out into the world of housekeeping.
What?? I can hear you now. Even louder is my voice, screaming in utter confusion and terror. The crazy thing is, apparently, I am actually good at housekeeping. I have an eye for detail and don't believe in doing the job halfway. This is just too funny, especially considering the condition of my own house. This revelation has opened my mind. I'm not incapable of cleaning, just incapable of cleaning my house. The reason for that would be...THERE IS TOO MUCH STUFF IN THE WAY! I can't clean what I can't see. Therefore, I will be trying to tuck away some funds so that we can get our garage door fixed, and then start hauling away! I am ready to de-clutter!! Now to find the money, energy, organizational tools, etc to accomplish the task.
...and to start back at the beginning...the new frontier is an actual housekeeping job that I obtained by my little ol' self. So now I have work on Friday..and on Saturday's (for the summer with the realty company). Yay me! But so nervous because the lady of the house will be there tomorrow and I want to be sure to look and act professional and do a good job. Ah the pressure.
One day at a time Leighanne, one day at a time.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Why are some people so twisted?
Life can be pretty confusing at times. I am far from perfect but with God's help and parent's who always taught me to be kind, I turned out pretty good. There have been circumstances where to have been the type of person that would be manipulative or cruel, would probably resulted in things going "my way."
What I know to be the truth, is if a person is manipulative and or cruel, they may think that they have won, but nothing could be more wrong. If you have to cheat, or hurt others to get what you want then you have gained nothing.
It is hard to be in situations in which you have no control. It hurts to see someone discreetly yet obviously try to tear you or someone you love down. For the longest time I have been watching this happen. The thing that makes it so much harder is knowing that the person is intentionally trying to tarnish a beautiful relationship. A relationship made by God, a relationship that time can never erase, yet a relationship that someone else is trying their best to dissolve.
It is so hard to keep up this line of thought protecting names for the sake of "friendship." I am doing my best to try and see her side of things. But she is so far off base with her actions I could scream, and then cry. Ben and Alyssa's biological father has betrayed them to the fullest. His actions have been selfish and destructive and he has toyed with their emotions time and time again. Chris on the other hand strives to be the best father that he can be, to ALL of his children. Chris embraces Ben and Alyssa as his own and is proud to be the father to 5 beautiful children.
However, his ex is hell bent on making him out to be the bad guy to Justin and Ashton. They live so far away it makes it difficult to make it to many of their sporting and school events. There are many times his ex doesn't even bother to tell us of events (and some of those we could have actually made it to, if we had known). But budgets and time schedules allowing, we try to make every event possible. I know that "budgets" and "work" are foreign concepts to young children and she is using that to her full advantage.
It seems like every time we are unable to make it to an event, she flaunts it for all to see. I could save myself a lot of heartache if I just "de-friended" her so that her picture posts and her status updates would not be exposed to me. That being said, I am no fool. She is taunting me with the things she is saying and the pictures she is posting.
Today was Ashton's opening day of baseball (first one we have missed in all the years I have been with Chris). Our budget simply did not allow for us to travel the long distance to the event, not to mention Chris was exhausted from his week of school and his airport troubles. So needless to say, Chris must be so neglectful to not prioritize this event in her eyes. She posted pics of Ashton with his stepfather and noted that "it was all about the memories." Something she often jabs towards Chris (thru our fb friendship).
I guess part of the reason it tends to light my fire is because of the way she glorifies her new husband. She goes on and on about how wonderful a father he is to all of her boys. I am happy that he is good to the boys, but he in no way replaces Chris, which is her obvious goal. From our conversations I can all but gather that his money is for his use and she is to use the child support for the boys needs. Of course that is what the support is designed for. But I just don't see how you can put a man on a pedestal who's moral compass is questionable. For pete's sake the man courted a married woman and moved into the man's home less than a month after Chris left.
She has been bitter since day one of Chris' leaving her. On that day she kept the boys from school and had them watch their father pack his things as he left. She wanted it to be clear to the boys that Chris was the one leaving the family. How twisted is that? Even more so, her jealousy at the fact that he now has a family with me and dotes on "my" children is evident in all her manipulative ways.
She smiles so sweetly, and tells me of her prayers for our family. I do want to believe that that is the true person in front of me. But I just don't see how her behavior is Christian. Not trying to judge, just trying to understand. Maybe in her eyes, Chris has let the boys down. But from where I stand all I see is a man that is so self-less and sacrifices all he has for his family. She doesn't see the man that still gets emotional on the 4th of July because he never gets to share that holiday with the boys anymore (it's always her weekend, or the boys have plans with their friends). Maybe she thinks that we should sacrifice more to make the events. We already do without so many extra things, are we expected to give up necessaries as well in order to make every single event. If we lived closer it would be a non-issue, but I guess she just doesn't see it that way.
Because she was unable to fully love Chris and be a faithful wife, I have a wonderful husband who is more than I could ever desire. It was her own actions that divided her family and has forced Chris to be a weekend daddy. Why can't she just leave well enough alone? Why can't she just let Chris love his boys and let them appreciate him, instead of encouraging distance? Chris is the only real father that my children know. Sure they know who their biological dad is, and still see him on occasion...but they know who their provider is and the one that protects and loves them. How can she not see how blessed she is that Chris loves and provides for his boys in the best way that he possibly is able to?
I will never see things her way, just as she will never see things my way. We are individuals and we are different. We have different stories and different views....and that will never change. I just keep holding onto the faith that when the boys are grown men and have the wisdom that comes with age, they will be able to see through the charade and see the father that loved them more than life itself.
What I know to be the truth, is if a person is manipulative and or cruel, they may think that they have won, but nothing could be more wrong. If you have to cheat, or hurt others to get what you want then you have gained nothing.
It is hard to be in situations in which you have no control. It hurts to see someone discreetly yet obviously try to tear you or someone you love down. For the longest time I have been watching this happen. The thing that makes it so much harder is knowing that the person is intentionally trying to tarnish a beautiful relationship. A relationship made by God, a relationship that time can never erase, yet a relationship that someone else is trying their best to dissolve.
It is so hard to keep up this line of thought protecting names for the sake of "friendship." I am doing my best to try and see her side of things. But she is so far off base with her actions I could scream, and then cry. Ben and Alyssa's biological father has betrayed them to the fullest. His actions have been selfish and destructive and he has toyed with their emotions time and time again. Chris on the other hand strives to be the best father that he can be, to ALL of his children. Chris embraces Ben and Alyssa as his own and is proud to be the father to 5 beautiful children.
However, his ex is hell bent on making him out to be the bad guy to Justin and Ashton. They live so far away it makes it difficult to make it to many of their sporting and school events. There are many times his ex doesn't even bother to tell us of events (and some of those we could have actually made it to, if we had known). But budgets and time schedules allowing, we try to make every event possible. I know that "budgets" and "work" are foreign concepts to young children and she is using that to her full advantage.
It seems like every time we are unable to make it to an event, she flaunts it for all to see. I could save myself a lot of heartache if I just "de-friended" her so that her picture posts and her status updates would not be exposed to me. That being said, I am no fool. She is taunting me with the things she is saying and the pictures she is posting.
Today was Ashton's opening day of baseball (first one we have missed in all the years I have been with Chris). Our budget simply did not allow for us to travel the long distance to the event, not to mention Chris was exhausted from his week of school and his airport troubles. So needless to say, Chris must be so neglectful to not prioritize this event in her eyes. She posted pics of Ashton with his stepfather and noted that "it was all about the memories." Something she often jabs towards Chris (thru our fb friendship).
I guess part of the reason it tends to light my fire is because of the way she glorifies her new husband. She goes on and on about how wonderful a father he is to all of her boys. I am happy that he is good to the boys, but he in no way replaces Chris, which is her obvious goal. From our conversations I can all but gather that his money is for his use and she is to use the child support for the boys needs. Of course that is what the support is designed for. But I just don't see how you can put a man on a pedestal who's moral compass is questionable. For pete's sake the man courted a married woman and moved into the man's home less than a month after Chris left.
She has been bitter since day one of Chris' leaving her. On that day she kept the boys from school and had them watch their father pack his things as he left. She wanted it to be clear to the boys that Chris was the one leaving the family. How twisted is that? Even more so, her jealousy at the fact that he now has a family with me and dotes on "my" children is evident in all her manipulative ways.
She smiles so sweetly, and tells me of her prayers for our family. I do want to believe that that is the true person in front of me. But I just don't see how her behavior is Christian. Not trying to judge, just trying to understand. Maybe in her eyes, Chris has let the boys down. But from where I stand all I see is a man that is so self-less and sacrifices all he has for his family. She doesn't see the man that still gets emotional on the 4th of July because he never gets to share that holiday with the boys anymore (it's always her weekend, or the boys have plans with their friends). Maybe she thinks that we should sacrifice more to make the events. We already do without so many extra things, are we expected to give up necessaries as well in order to make every single event. If we lived closer it would be a non-issue, but I guess she just doesn't see it that way.
Because she was unable to fully love Chris and be a faithful wife, I have a wonderful husband who is more than I could ever desire. It was her own actions that divided her family and has forced Chris to be a weekend daddy. Why can't she just leave well enough alone? Why can't she just let Chris love his boys and let them appreciate him, instead of encouraging distance? Chris is the only real father that my children know. Sure they know who their biological dad is, and still see him on occasion...but they know who their provider is and the one that protects and loves them. How can she not see how blessed she is that Chris loves and provides for his boys in the best way that he possibly is able to?
I will never see things her way, just as she will never see things my way. We are individuals and we are different. We have different stories and different views....and that will never change. I just keep holding onto the faith that when the boys are grown men and have the wisdom that comes with age, they will be able to see through the charade and see the father that loved them more than life itself.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Feels like Friday
Much to our family's advantage (as we are living day to day, literally) Chris' pay now posts on Thursdays. It's nice because I can go ahead and figure out exactly what kind of mess we are looking at for the next week. It would be so nice if I could depend on even a small amount of child support from "the ex". Being that Chris is such a wonderful father and man, he would never imagine trying to short-change and pay less or try not to pay at all his own obligation to Justin and Ashton. It bothers me to even say that because they are obviously not the ones benefiting from the huge chunk of money that we cannot use for our needs. Must be nice to drive a fancy, off the lot SUV and go shopping for un-neccesities on a regular basis.
That being said my stomach is churning and my thoughts are close to raging mad. I am trying to keep a Christian spirit and keep things in perspective, but it is hard when someone who claims to be working with us in whatever way possible has the nerve to all but poor mouth! Which this should not surprise me considering it is something she often does. But her reply to my recent request to cash two payments at once next week, was insulting to my intelligence. Her response was she had already made adjustments to her household budget and since her current husband only gets paid once a month (...has she forgotten that I know he works 2 jobs to keep up with her expensive tastes) it wasn't really possible for her to make such an exception. Here I am wondering how my husband is going to eat lunch, what we will do for dinner and how we will put gas in our vehicles to get around next week!!
In trying to keep things in perspective, Chris has said (and she has admitted herself) that she doesn't manage money well. Join the club, it's my second weakest trait after housekeeping, and I am constantly trying to improve. It is very well possible that she has overspent on all her efforts to "keep up with the Crumplers" and truly does need to cash the check this week. I am so glad that I do not put on fronts to anyone or try to be something I am not. It would be so humiliating if the truth were exposed. We have been living above or means but nowhere to the extent that she does. I have taken steps to cut back and it has not been fun...but I know in the long run it will be worth it.
On a positive note, got the toys organized yesterday and have somewhat straightened and cleaned the kitchen today. I would really like to have our bedroom nicely cleaned for when Chris gets home, but that's looking like a pipe dream. Also heading to get my criminal background check and applying for a summer housekeeping position with a rental/realtor in Holden Beach. I have been told by many people that it is really decent money. It will be strenuous work and I am sure my back and nerves will pay for it. But if this works out it will be nice have something to contribute and maybe we can even take a small family vacation and have some money tucked away...although that never seems to last.
Well the timer has gone off and I promised James I would play pretend with him after I had some "mommy time." For now I'm not going to worry about the 1000 things left to do around this house. I am going to go play pretend then I am going to head out to take care of the business of getting this housekeeping position.
In regards to my battle against the roaches. Today so far, I have seen more dead than alive. I've seen about 3 babies (teeny tiny), 1 small, and 1 medium large.
That being said my stomach is churning and my thoughts are close to raging mad. I am trying to keep a Christian spirit and keep things in perspective, but it is hard when someone who claims to be working with us in whatever way possible has the nerve to all but poor mouth! Which this should not surprise me considering it is something she often does. But her reply to my recent request to cash two payments at once next week, was insulting to my intelligence. Her response was she had already made adjustments to her household budget and since her current husband only gets paid once a month (...has she forgotten that I know he works 2 jobs to keep up with her expensive tastes) it wasn't really possible for her to make such an exception. Here I am wondering how my husband is going to eat lunch, what we will do for dinner and how we will put gas in our vehicles to get around next week!!
In trying to keep things in perspective, Chris has said (and she has admitted herself) that she doesn't manage money well. Join the club, it's my second weakest trait after housekeeping, and I am constantly trying to improve. It is very well possible that she has overspent on all her efforts to "keep up with the Crumplers" and truly does need to cash the check this week. I am so glad that I do not put on fronts to anyone or try to be something I am not. It would be so humiliating if the truth were exposed. We have been living above or means but nowhere to the extent that she does. I have taken steps to cut back and it has not been fun...but I know in the long run it will be worth it.
On a positive note, got the toys organized yesterday and have somewhat straightened and cleaned the kitchen today. I would really like to have our bedroom nicely cleaned for when Chris gets home, but that's looking like a pipe dream. Also heading to get my criminal background check and applying for a summer housekeeping position with a rental/realtor in Holden Beach. I have been told by many people that it is really decent money. It will be strenuous work and I am sure my back and nerves will pay for it. But if this works out it will be nice have something to contribute and maybe we can even take a small family vacation and have some money tucked away...although that never seems to last.
Well the timer has gone off and I promised James I would play pretend with him after I had some "mommy time." For now I'm not going to worry about the 1000 things left to do around this house. I am going to go play pretend then I am going to head out to take care of the business of getting this housekeeping position.
In regards to my battle against the roaches. Today so far, I have seen more dead than alive. I've seen about 3 babies (teeny tiny), 1 small, and 1 medium large.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Roach Wars
This battle began many months ago. I guess it all started with an accumulation of cardboard boxes in the garage/storage room. Having such a large family our garbage can provided by the county fills up with household waste to consider throwing the large boxes away would mean having bags of trash accumulating until trash day. Therefore my solution was keep the boxes in the garage until such time we could haul them off to the county dump. Fast forward many months.
I have put out boric acid mixed with Tang, egg stoppers, baits, contact kill with insecticide....but the roach population still grows and grows. For every ten that I find dead, there are 50 more that day, alive and well. Since our remodel two years ago, we were to fed up with DIY to complete the job by putting our shoe molding back up. Thus it is my belief the roaches have a great safe-haven in our walls!
The children are so used to them it's not even right. And how many times a day do I hear James say, BUG! It is to the point I feel to rid them is to move out. And even then, how many would stow away in our belongings only to take up residence in our new place. Which as we all know is completely out of the question. We are going to be in this house for a while.
Today I spent a good hour reading posts from people with similar situations. They offered solutions that ranged from boric acid, baking soda and powdered sugar, catnip spray, spearmint gum, bay leaves all the way to illegal "chinese chalk"...which many swear by and may be a last resort for me.
The clutter and excess of material things, not to mention the children's ability to spread crumbs from one end of the house to another make this battle even harder. But after reading all the tips today, I have resolve. I will fight these forsaken pests with all my might. I will try every trick in the book. They may outnumber me in the thousands, but I am a human, therefore the superior creature.
My ultimate goal is to eradicate this nasty nuisance. But I will settle for a 95% elimination. I will fight this battle, I will not give up.....until I can move :)
I have put out boric acid mixed with Tang, egg stoppers, baits, contact kill with insecticide....but the roach population still grows and grows. For every ten that I find dead, there are 50 more that day, alive and well. Since our remodel two years ago, we were to fed up with DIY to complete the job by putting our shoe molding back up. Thus it is my belief the roaches have a great safe-haven in our walls!
The children are so used to them it's not even right. And how many times a day do I hear James say, BUG! It is to the point I feel to rid them is to move out. And even then, how many would stow away in our belongings only to take up residence in our new place. Which as we all know is completely out of the question. We are going to be in this house for a while.
Today I spent a good hour reading posts from people with similar situations. They offered solutions that ranged from boric acid, baking soda and powdered sugar, catnip spray, spearmint gum, bay leaves all the way to illegal "chinese chalk"...which many swear by and may be a last resort for me.
The clutter and excess of material things, not to mention the children's ability to spread crumbs from one end of the house to another make this battle even harder. But after reading all the tips today, I have resolve. I will fight these forsaken pests with all my might. I will try every trick in the book. They may outnumber me in the thousands, but I am a human, therefore the superior creature.
My ultimate goal is to eradicate this nasty nuisance. But I will settle for a 95% elimination. I will fight this battle, I will not give up.....until I can move :)
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